You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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