I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Go christen that room with your naked body.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Congratulations! We have a period
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
