That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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