i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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