Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
