Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize