please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
