Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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