just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You need a sexual gate keeper
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
