Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
