i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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