But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
