Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
