This is not my ceiling
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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