so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
