he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
