I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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