Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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