I wish I could teleport
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
