i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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