clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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