how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
