my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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