He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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