So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
