she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
