wanna go halves on a baby?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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