It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it was like eating out sand paper
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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