We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
