you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
