whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
