Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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