great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
