Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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