get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
