I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
