Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
