my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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