the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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