; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
