My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
