But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
