He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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