Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
