Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
