My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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