i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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