he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
