When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
