barbara walters just said penis...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Send help, water and tortillas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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