your thong is hanging out like whoa
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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