At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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