last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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