omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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