So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
