i don't like sucking hair
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I forget how to act sober
Randomize