i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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