you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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