Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
