I wish I could punch you in the face.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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