Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
