I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
