is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
