is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
