Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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