He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
