Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize