i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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