All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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