He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
