you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
