Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
